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About Deviant hisses at the daylightFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 11 Years
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I miss Mike.  I miss Mike.  I miss Mike.  I miss Mike.

I did some visualizations yesterday that have helped me in the past get rid of unwanted/unpleasant feelings.  I sit by the river and envision the feeling leaving me, floating down to a leaf, and floating away down the river.  Wow, did it fucking work!  I envisioned little red blobules of love leaving my chest and floating away on leaves, and I felt relief!  The pain of having feelings for Mike and being kicked to the curb subsided.

But today I tried to remember what it feels like to be happy, and I can't remember, not on purpose.  It's like a security door slams shut inside me.  But I feel sad.  Sad and scared and tired.  No music can comfort me.

I still insist it's better to have never loved at all.

deviantID

suedonym
hisses at the daylight
United States
Current Residence: Seacoast New Hampshire, USA
Favourite genre of music: industrial metal, electro-industrial, EBM, goth metal, futurepop, dark cabaret
Favourite style of art: photography
Favourite cartoon character: Invader Zim, Foamy, The Tick
Personal Quote: Having sated my lust for the beating hearts of human foeti, I now go off to stomp some kittens.
Interests
I feel like a worthless, useless piece of human shit, because I can't get anything done, and when I can, I can't do it right.

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:iconcece61998:
cece61998 Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2015
I dropped by and I happened to see your cool picture of you spitting fire. Then I saw your recent status. I've never gone through what you're going through but I'm glad your friend saved you. Life is hard and it's a bumpy road leading seemingly nowhere. I'm not going to say everything's going to become sunny and happy all at once but don't give up. You never know what's around the corner.

Btw, I like The Tick too. He's so funny. Which episode's your favorite? 
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:iconsuedonym:
suedonym Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2015
"The streets will run red with Santas!"
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:iconkyler47:
KyleR47 Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Thanks for the llama :love:
Reply
:iconsunshinegypsy:
sunshinegypsy Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2012  Professional Writer
I FOUND YOU!
Reply
:iconverulka:
verulka Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2011  Professional Artisan Crafter
Thank you very much for the fave!
Reply
:iconkelpie77:
Kelpie77 Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the fave :)
Reply
:iconsandrahultsved:
SandraHultsved Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2011  Professional Traditional Artist
Thank you so much for watching:aww:
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:iconcarlcom66:
carlcom66 Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2011  Professional General Artist
thanks for the :llama: :)
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:iconsuedonym:
suedonym Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2011
:thumbsup::)
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:iconrotten-alice:
Rotten-Alice Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2011
Thanks so much for the watch!
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