I miss Mike. I miss Mike. I miss Mike. I miss Mike.
I did some visualizations yesterday that have helped me in the past get rid of unwanted/unpleasant feelings. I sit by the river and envision the feeling leaving me, floating down to a leaf, and floating away down the river. Wow, did it fucking work! I envisioned little red blobules of love leaving my chest and floating away on leaves, and I felt relief! The pain of having feelings for Mike and being kicked to the curb subsided.
But today I tried to remember what it feels like to be happy, and I can't remember, not on purpose. It's like a security door slams shut inside me. But I feel sad. Sad and scared and tired. No music can comfort me.
I still insist it's better to have never loved at all.