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I just discovered that I can eat a FUCK TON of xanax and valium and not die. I didn't even fall asleep, in fact. Lame.
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I miss Mike. I miss Mike. I miss Mike. I miss Mike.
I did some visualizations yesterday that have helped me in the past get rid of unwanted/unpleasant feelings. I sit by the river and envision the feeling leaving me, floating down to a leaf, and ...
Got up to hand in my therapy application and pick up my new med, got a little food, the spent all day trying to talk electronically with many people to get a little support. I got through to a few eventually. Not one conversation ended in a good fe...
So, yeah, tried to kill myself a couple weeks ago. Best effort yet. I'm pretty much blacked out of when I texted my friend for help. Spent 10 days in a psych ward. I fucking loved having no contact with friends, family, phone, internet, my pets, ...
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I don't remember writing this, lol.